Happiness is a terrifying word

Happiness is a terrifying word. It is something we all want but none of us really no what it means. It is something we explain to be the perfect condition that we all want to accomplish.

What if I don't know what I want? What if I don't know what happiness is for me? But although I am young, there must have been situations where I have been happy. Right? For example the time we were in London and we went to see the Phantom of the Opera. It was such an overwhelming experience and something I had never experienced before. I just cried the whole time. One quite similar situation was when we were in Los Angeles and went to see Regina Spector's concert. When she started singing I started crying. 

Well, apparently happiness for me is crying my heart out. But what do these two situations have in common? I was in a concert listening to music, with my family and we were abroad. So this must mean that my family, music and travelling make me happy. But is there only one definition for happiness? Because I also feel very happy after a long week when the weekend finally starts and I can sit in front of the TV with my dear Ben&Jerry's ice cream barrel and just be lazy. And when I'm very tired and I can finally go to bed. Or when I'm hungry as I get home, and I see that my mum has made my favourite food for me. 

Well, now that I think about it, there are lots of things that make me happy. For those things I don't have to spend a lot of money or have a certain body type that we all try to have. Because we think:"if I accomplish this, I will become the happiest person on earth". But it doesn't work like that. Because happiness is something we get by doing good deeds, making other people happy, having great people around us, and taking care of ourselves. 

That is the thing I must learn. I do think that I have to accomplish certain things in order to be happy, but what if 20 years from now I think "god I was happy back then", but why didn't I enjoy it then. By the way, never think like that if you want to be happy, because those two words will make you the unhappiest person on earth, and the two words are: what if?

Elsa Tapani